Mom, I am hungry: January 2009

Welcome to the jungle!

Our jungle has a mighty lion king, Jared; his sultry lioness, Tamany; three crazy monkeys, Landon, Tyler, and Ethan; and a beautiful gazelle, Isabel. It also has a beast, Phoebe, our mastiff.

Life in our jungle is much like other jungles: a constant searching for food. It consists of finding the food, killing it, bringing it home, preparing it, eating it, cleaning it up, and trying to share with others what we found.

This blog is to share the highlights of what happens in our jungle during that process.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Stop the Guesses!

Okay, okay, okay.

I know that I asked for guesses, but now I am afraid that somebody (like Lana) might actually figure it out and ruin my surprise. So now you can't guess anything closer than a continent! :) But, if you do know and want to see if you are right you can ask Jared.

And just to be a good sport, for all my adoring fans who guessed, I will send you a postcard anyway. :)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mystery Anniversary Vacation

Feb. 19th, 2009 will mark mine and Jared's TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY! This seems so monumental to me---a whole decade. Sure, it is not our 25th, or 50th, or eternity for that matter, but it feels like an important step towards those milestones.

To celebrate we are going to take a trip--together--alone. This will be the first time we have ever been alone for more than a few hours since we had an overnight stay in Park City when Landon was little.

My oh-so-romantic husband has planned a trip, but isn't telling me where we are going! I won't know 'til the airport. The only thing that I know is that I haven't heard of the place, I need to renew my passport, possible snorkeling and/or scuba diving, and that it has something to do with corn! Corn?! He said that that hint was meant to confuse, not clarify. Trust me, I am confused!

So, here is my question: Where do you think this mysterious place could be? I am going to do a game. Whoever chooses the closest location I will send you a postcard--and maybe a rock. :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm good for something....

Today as I entered the bathroom to help Ethan, I turned on the light for him. He said, "Mom you are good at turning on lights."

This kid has such a way with words. He makes everyone laugh and melt in his presence. On the way to the hospital to deliver him a torrential summer rainstorm came out of nowhere. I always say that the heaven's were crying to lose their Ethan.

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Great Things Await You

This summer I am subbing the seminary-aged kids class for Sunday School. I am so excited. It was fun to be back in with them all again yesterday. The energy they have mixed with hope for the future, and teenage insecurtiy is all a fun mix to deal with.

Anyway it was on the Second Coming, as I am sure yours was too.

I wrote on the board, "For verily I say unto you, that great things await you." At the last minute the Spirit prompted me to ask them if that was a legitimate scripture or if I made it up from a fortune cookie and made it sound like a scripture. By show of hands all eight thought that it was from a fortune cookie.

They were surprised that it was a scripture. (D&C 45:62) Then they had to guess what topic it could be referring to. One boy said marriage (which we got a kick out of teasing him) some said the Book of Mormon, etc. They were all surprised to learn that it was referring to the Second coming.

In D&C 45:34 the Lord's disciples were troubled when they learned of all the calamities that would come before His coming. In verse 35 he said, "Be not troubled, for when all these things shall come to pass, ye may know that the promises which have been made unto you shall be fulfilled."

We then went through the list of really cool things that we get to be a part of in the Second Coming if we are not one of the "elect who are deceived" (Matt. 24:24).

raising children without sin unto salvation in the millenium
having children live to an old age, then "twinkled" instead of dieing
having every righteous wish granted (Tyler wants a chocolate cake, a hamster, and a lollipop)
having the purpose of the earth revealed to us (even Moses didn't get that question answered)
being resurrected when Christ comes and join with him as one of the hosts of angels
etc.

Like He said, "great things await us."

Sticks and Stones

You know the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me"? That is a lie. I can't remember the pain of childbirth, let alone a stick, but I can remember very clearly the pain that comes from mean things people have said--even as far back as elementary schoool. I don't wince when I think of pushing out a 7 lb watermelon (actually, I am looking forward to that experience again...not an announcement, just a hope!) I do wince when I think of unkind words. Words have a way of evoking an emotional response in us like nothing else.

We are taught in the scritpures to watch our thoughts, words, and deeds. James teaches us that our words are like a bridle in a horses mouth---if we can perfect our words, we can perfect ourselves. I was teaching this to my students and I gave each of them the assignment to prepare a talk on the topic of good language. They had 10 minutes to make an outline of a talk. They came up with some very insightful things.

One student talked about how our words can either destroy or build; that we choose whom we serve by the words we choose to use. He said that Satan himself uses words to entice us to his side. That really impacted me and reinforced the power of words to me. Satan doesn't strong arm us into following him. He simply puts words into our heads. He tempts with words, he motivates with messages.

How much more impact does that have on the teaching that we can combat him and serve the Lord with good language. Psalms 12:6 says that "the words of the Lord are as pure silver..." It sounds very Harry Potter-esque, but ever since a student read that scripture I like to imagine my words coming out like shimmery silver; building the kingdom and building others, not destroying or hurting. (sometimes my silver is a bit tarnished).

Remember when Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail? The jailers were speaking foul language about what they had done to the fellow saints. Joseph and his companions could not bear to listen to it anymore. With power, Joseph stood and rebuked them with words of God. They, the jailers, were put to silence by the one in chains. It was not the horrible conditions that got Joseph and his companions down, it was having to endure evil language.

In addition, Nephi, when he was building the boat was being persecuted by his brothers. They were not throwing sticks and stones at him. They were pestering him with foul language. 1 Nephi 17 gives the account. They murmured and complained and called him a fool. Then when Nephi became saddened, they rejoiced and laid into him for being so dumb as to think that he could accomplish such a thing and continued on-- blaming him for all their problems and woes (even for their wives having to have kids in the wilderness---sorry dudes, he wasn't anywhere near your wives when they got pregnant).

After Nephi endured enough he spoke up, and with God's words put them in remembrance of how things really were. He reminded them of their testimonies and everything they already knew. Then there was that whole stick-out-your-hand-and-shock-'em power that would come in handy sometimes.

My point is this, our words do matter. They can be a force for building the kingdom of God or Satan. D&C 108:7 tells us to "strengthen your brethern in all your conversation." Complaining is not of God. It breaks down the spiritual atmosphere of a home. Not believing in someone, telling them they are not good enough, or calling them dumb or stupid breaks down confidence and hurts. Blaming others for all your past woes or current woes is not of God---that is a tool that Satan uses to keep us down and keep us distracted from looking at ourselves and seeing what we can do to be better.

Saying "I love you" is as important as showing it. The words do matter and they remind us of our feelings.

Take His name/yoke upon you

I taught about baptism a while ago and how it represented the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. (I don't think I talked about this already) In the past I have always kind of lumped the death and burial together in my mind. When I taught it this time I focused on each individual similitude. It forced me to focus on how the burial of Christ and my baptism worked together.

I learned that not only are my sins dead upon baptism, but through Christ's atonement they can stay buried. He has the power to change me and keep me changed. We all have weaknesses that we are either born with or that we learn from our youth (or things we didn't learn that we should have) that we spend our whole lives trying to overcome. It is those sins that we repent of each day wondering if the Lord is tired of hearing our broken promises to be better.

I took the sacrament a few weeks ago with the thoughts of keeping my sins and weaknesses buried through Christ. As I watched the priests lay the cloth over what represented Christ's body I thought of his burial in the tomb and how each week when I partake of the sacrament I am renewing that committment with the one person who has the power to clean me and keep me cleansed.

Which brings me to my next topic....Taking the name of Christ upon us.

As I taught about baptism I was teaching from Romans, and Paul was teaching that it is not the baptism itself which saves us, it is our faith and committment to those covenants which saves us. The baptism is merely a sign witnessing of that decision we made to take the Savior's name upon us.

The sacrament prayer reiterates this as it says that we "...eat in remembrance of the body of the Son, and witness ....that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son..." Again, the sacrament is merely a sign showing that we are willing to take His name upon us.

So what does it mean to take his name upon us? It seems to be more of a progression of acts rather than one defining moment. Matt. 11:28-30 is the scripture that talks about taking upon us the yoke of Christ. I feel that taking His yoke is what it means to take His name. I like to insert the word "name" for yoke.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my name upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my name is easy, and my burden is light."

On the surface these versus seem to be the most ironic versus in scripture. They seem to cancel each other. How can a yoke be easy? If you are already heavy laden how can promising to do more for the Savior ease our burdens?

I am learning first hand that the Lord strengthens us in our trials. He gives us strength when we thought we could do no more. He is there for us. When we do not make that promise each week to yoke ourselves to Him, we have no promise in return. I am learning more and more that I do not have what it takes by myself. I have way too many weaknesses and things that I am trying to bury and keep buried through repentance. But each day I know where my strength comes from.

Life is Not Fair

Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about repentance and the need for ordinances. The topic that "life is not fair" came up. Basically we discussed that this life was not meant to be "fair" otherwise our faith would never be tested. "Crap" happens because of the fall and we just have to deal with it whether we "deserve" what happened to us or not.

The next topic we got into was how we yoke ourselves to the Savior because no matter how good we are, how few mistakes we make, or how few our sins are we cannot make it back without Him. The analogy of a joint bank account was given. We are flat broke and He has an endless bank account. We go into a contract with Him. As long as we keep that contract of trying our best and repenting, He promises to cover all our faults and mistakes (our expenses) and we have access to everything He has in the account.......

Yeah, life isn't fair.

Joseph Smith's Faith

I have still been thinking about this thought for awhile so I figured I better get it in writing. (My brain only has so much capacity to hold things and I need all the space I can get).

Joseph Smith has so many qualities that I admire. One is his amazing faith in prayer. Of course, it was that faith that got the whole ball rolling with the restoration of the gospel by way of his visitation from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. There is another account that demonstates his unyielding faith in Heavenly Father. In the Joseph Smith-History verses 27-29 he talks about how for three years after his first vision he was persecuted a lot for his claim of the first vision. He also laments how he was guilty of youthful foibles and foolish errors. He says in verse 29 the "in consequence of these things, [he] often felt condemned for [his] weaknesses and imperfections." So that night he retired to bed and prayed for forgiveness and also a manifestation to know his state and standing before God. And he says he "had full confidence in obtaining a divine manifestation, as [he] had previously had one.

I don't know about you all, but when I screw up with something and feel "condemned", my faith in the Lord waivers. Not my faith in Him, but my faith that He still loves me just the same and that I am still worthy to receive the same blessings that I have received before when I was "being good."

I love this about Joseph Smith. He understood the power of repentance. He understood that God is an unchangeable being and that his love for us never changes. I think that the ability to go to Him in prayer "feeling condemned" yet at the same time fully expecting a "divine manifestation" is incredible.

And, yep, he got it---Moroni!

Is My Heart "pricked" or "cut"?

In Acts 2:37 the new converts to the church after hearing the apostles speak were "pricked in their heart" and asked the brethern, "what shall we do?" Which, of course led to their baptism by water and the Holy Ghost, resulting in the day of Pentecost.

Conversely in Acts 7:54 after Stephen testified of the truth to the sanhedrin they were angry and his words, "cut to the heart and they gnashed on him with their teeth."

The message was the same, but it was received by very different hearts. One group had a contrite and broken heart while the others were hard-hearted. It is interesting how the teacher can have differing effects on differing groups.

D&C 50: 22 says that he that "preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together." There is a responsibility on the part of the student to "receive" the words in order to be edified.

Prophets are rarely popular people. This doesn't make them wrong, just unpopular. The wicked take the truth to be hard and the humble are teachable.

Scripture Study: A Willing Sacrifice

I have been teaching about the law of consecration and how one of the requirements to live that law is to be willing to sacrifice. I had a few times this week in seminary where I confronted some students on their behavior in class. They have had no desire to learn or to engage in the lessons. Their attitude was, "at least I come." I've been thinking a lot about that attitude. We all know members who go to church, pay their tithing, give service, go to the temple, do HT/VT, etc. etc. who then go inactive or don't seem really happy in their "devotion" to the gospel.

Is it enough to "at least show up?" I think that showing up is a start, but where are our hearts? It is so easy to go through the motions of being a member without really being converted. I tried to use an example to illustrate this to my students. We all know immigrants who come here and live their whole lives around English-speakers without learning English. Being around English is not enough. A person needs to LEARN English. That requires a personal effort. Being around church and church activities is not enough--we have to personally LEARN the gospel.

This is where it dawned on me that personal scripture study and personal prayer are the foundation to a broken heart and a contrite spirit---a willing sacrifice, if you will. Of all the things I listed above that have to do with going through the motions of being a church member---church attendance, temple attendance, tithing, etc. The only things that we do on a regular basis that are never seen of men, that are never reported, are prayer and scripture study.

The Lord wants our hearts as a willing sacrifice for Him. The time spent with him "choosing the good part", as he taught Mary and Martha is time that we willingly give to Him without any fear or praise of man. Sitting up in bed, or getting out of bed, to give him a full devotion of our time to a disciplined scripture study, or taking the time to talk to Him in prayer instead of talk at him---these are things that are personal and that only we can do ourselves. No one can make these sacrifices for us or perform this work for us. It is a very individual act and very individual sacrifice for the Lord.

What Changed Peter?

As I was studying the accounts of the resurrection something stood out to me. In Luke 24:11-12 it records the account of Mary and the other women testifying to the apostles that the tomb was empty. Verse 11 says that the apostles esteemed them as "idle tales". Then verse 12 says that "Then Peter arose, and ran unto the sepulchre;"

What happened between those two verses that convinced him they were telling the truth? It seems that he became convinced since he did not just walk there to appease the "hysterical" women, but that he ran.

Later as I was studying, something stood out to me that could be a possible answer. (I recognize that this is postulating---but sometimes that is fun). When Christ was on the Mt. of Olives, after the Last Supper and before the intercessory prayer he taught the apostles once again. One thing that he told them was that that night all would be offended of him, but that he would come to them again in Galilee. This is when Peter vehemently opposed the idea of ever being offended of Christ and Christ professed the fateful words, "before the cock crows thou shalt deny me thrice." I can imagine that after Christ's death Peter was still heartbroken and remorseful for what he did and wished that he could see the Lord one more time to be assured of his good standing with Him.

My guess for what changed Peter's mind is that perhaps the announcement that the tomb was empty seemed a bit far-fetched, but maybe after the apostles didn't believe them the women recounted what the angels commanded in Mark 16:7, "But go your way, tell the disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you."

These women were not on the Mt. of Olives when Christ taught this. The only way they could know this is if they were told from the angels. Maybe that is what helped Peter believe. And then, in Peter fashion, he ran to the tomb.

Leverage

I was at a store yesterday and had a really, really, bad experience with customer service. I won't go into the details because they aren't important. But I was so upset with the employee that I felt justified in letting him know just how bad his customer service was and how inconvenienced I was.

As I left the store Lana called me and I was still really mad as I relayed the experience to her. She laughed and said, "Did you tell him that you are a seminary teacher after that?" I felt justified in what I did and felt like I didn't need to be perfect or super-human just because of my calling so I said to her, "Hey, don't use that as leverage against me."

She didn't mean anything by it and we laughed, but after I hung up and settled down a little bit, I got to thinking about what I said: LEVERAGE AGAINST ME. I realized that, yes indeed, that should be used against me. In fact all of us have leverage against us for our actions and words. We are all members of the church who have taken the Lord's name upon us and we have a higher standard to live by. Would I have been able at that moment to give him a "pass along card?" I am to be a witness of Christ in all things, in all places.

I went to a different store immediately while I was still upset and as I was making my purchase the clerk asked me for my last name and I thought about the angels taking note of my actions and what I did to the Brown name. Then he asked my first name, and it became very personal and I thought about what I was doing to my own name.

I called the store clerk back and apologized to him for how I acted and explained that there was no excuse for getting upset over anything. Immediatley I felt relieved and back in "good standing" with the Lord. I like to teach my kids and students that when we sin, Satan laughs, and when we repent the angels throw a party--just like for the prodigal son.

A Pattern of Witnesses

Ever since the pre-mortal world we have followed the Lord's pattern of being witnesses for Christ and receiving Christs' witness through the Holy Ghost. I suggest that the Spirit played a role in that realm as he does now, to testify in our hearts that The Plan is true.

As we studied the resurrection today it hit me how the Lord always sends a witness to proclaim his coming before he arrives. The most popular "preparer" or "forerunner" was John the Baptist. Even as many apostles were called, some received witnesses from their friends first testifying of who He was.

Mary and the other women with her were told to go and tell the disciples what they had seen, both in the case with the empty tomb and in receiving personal witnesses of Him.

It was not until the others believed that they received their miracle--the personal manifestation of the Lord. I think that "Doubting Thomas" gets an unfair wrap as he only did what the others did---he just took a little longer to come around. Personally, I believe that during the week that it took for Thomas to see the Savior, his heart changed and he began to believe--thus allowing him to have the manifestation.

Our challenge is to both believe and to witness. Mary and the other women woke before dawn to go to the Savior's tomb, and along the way discussed amongst themselves about how they were going to get that huge, sealed, stone moved. This did not deter them. They exhibited such faith. I believe that this is what contributed to their miracle of seeing the Savior before anyone else.

Just like Nephi said, "I will go and do the things the Lord commands..." (Nephi 3:7). When we act in faith the Lord ALWAYS takes care of the things that we cannot. I have seen this happen so many times in my life. I am either magnified to handle the problem, or if it is something out of my control it is either taken care of or simply has gone away. I am constantly amazed.

Mary Magdalene--The Prodigal Daughter/ Faithful Daughter

Yesterday in seminary we had a combined activity with the other classes. In a game that we were playing the question was asked, "Who would you rather be, the prodigal son, or the faithful brother?" A girl in my class used the argument that I addressed in the post "Sin Suffering is Optional". She said, "The Prodigal Son because you appreciate the Savior more."

We addressed that today in class. It was a perfect "backdrop" as we also studied Mary Magdalene's experience with our Resurrected Savior.

We discussed why it was not the Lord's will that we sin in order to appreciate his ransom for us from sin. He specifically prayed for this as he paid for our sins in the garden. He prayed that we not be taken from the world, but be kept from evil. (See earlier post).

We are taught in John 14 that it is the Spirit that teaches us all things---including who Christ is, what he is, and how he is. It is the laboring and toiling in the "field" "ever by his side" that we learn to appreciate the Savior and what he does for us. How else can we have the Spirit unless we "take upon us his name and keep his commandments"?

True, repentance is a beautiful thing and the feelings of being saved from Satan's grasp are undeniable. However, those sins and the suffering associated with them were unnecesarry and in fact keep us from truly knowing the Savior.

Mary Magdalene was living a life full of a darkness we can not imagine---having 7 devils cast from her. But it was her devotion to the Savior after her healing that brought her to the point where she understood through the Spirit the meaning of Lazarus' death and rising from the dead when otheres did not. That in fact it was a foreshadowing of the Savior's death and resurrection. It was her faithful devotion that the Savior commended as she sat and listened to him instead of worrying about worldly things. (ie, leave the job alone and get your scripture study done). It was her unyielding faith that lead her to awake before dawn to go to the Savior's tomb, not even knowing how she was going to move the stone, and her heartfelt lingering at the tomb, that allowed her to be the first person to see the Lord in his resurrected state.

We are all prodigal sons and faithful servants at different times in our lives. Every time we let go of a grudge and say sorry, every time we start to pay a past due tithing, every time we write in that journal that we have been feeling like we should for who knows how long, every time we hold our tongue, every time we get to the temple----there is a rejoicing in heaven and a "celebration" made for our return. On the contrary, the adversary who laughs at us as we sin, is bound when we do good. This is what the party made for the son was about. Not a celebration of his past life---but a celebration of his future life! A life as a faithful servant, working side by side, learning of the Savior as we follow his example and keep his commandments.

Modern Revelation proves that Bible is true....

There are some who believe that Luke's account of Christ sweating drops of blood was only figurative, not literal. Some explain it away focusing on the words "sweat as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Luke 22:24. Some scholars claim that since the other three accounts have no mention of it, and since it was dark--making it difficult for the apostles to see--that it really didn't happen.

Today, in explaining to the youth that the way we know for sure that it did happen, is through modern revelation through Joseph Smith. Doctrine and Covenants 19:18, "Which suffering caused myself even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit..."

Many times we have the tendency to use the Bible to try and prove the Book of Mormon and modern revelation is true, when in fact the Book of Mormon and current prophets serve to validate the Bible and its teachings to the world---that Jesus is the Christ and is our personal Savior.

Sin suffering is optional...

I taught the intercessory prayer in John 17 this last week in seminary. In vs 15 the Lord prays for us to the Father and asks "not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil." (In the world, not of the world).

We discussed how we have to endure suffering in this life because it is part of the Plan of Salvation. Our suffering in a fallen world helps us to learn to be like the Savior. Bearing one another's burdens is part of our baptismal covenant because Christ bore our burdens.

Christ promises, however if we take his yoke upon us he will make our burdens easier. He will help carry the load.

The suffering that comes from personal sin is optional. Sinning is not a requirement to learn to be more like the Savior. In fact sinning keeps us from learning who the Savior is and what He is.

Some believe that a person who has sinned a lot appreciates the Savior and his atonement more because of what he has done for them. Although I do not discount the joy that comes from sincere repentance, I am reminded of the story of the prodigal son. When the son who "never sinned" was upset of the killing of the fatted calf for the sinful brother, his father reminded him of his greater blessing: that he was with him always.

Our greatest joy in learning who the Savior is and learning to appreciate Him is to serve alongside Him all our days.

Matthew 6:24 reminds us that man cannot serve two masters. In John 17: 3 the Lord teaches us that life eternal is to know God and Jesus Christ. How knoweth the master whom he hast not served?

So, although repentance brings a sweet calm from the storms of sin, we can learn the necesarry bitter in this world without commiting the sin and causing undo suffering for ourselves.